The Drive up I-65

No where (that I can think of, yet) embodies the elements necessary to scare the shit out of a Yankee visiting the state of Alabama than a drive along I-65 North from Montgomery to the state line of Tennessee. It has just about everything you could ask for, from the Confederate battle flag to Religious fundamentalism to outright hatred of democrats.

Good lord, I nearly shit my pants everytime I drive it.

On Dothan and Alligators

Look at that thing! It's huge! (That's what she said....HEE-YOOOO!!!)

We've never been to South Alabama before. Our neighbors who used to live here in Auburn moved back home to Dothan two months ago, and we decided to visit them.

We were told we were going to go fishing, and that we'd be hunting an alligator.

Wait, I'm sorry....A what?

Tuskegee Adventure

Tuskegee is famous for a lot of different things. The Tuskegee Institute and George Washington Carver. The birthplace of Rosa Parks. The Tuskegee Airmen. Tuskegee University.

We had the opportunity to visit one day, lured by the promise of Sweet Potatoes and a celebration of George Washington Carver at the Farmer's Market there.

Unfortunately, the Sweet Potato Festival was a complete and total bust. We arrived to a practically empty Farmer's Market (save for a few farmers), and a small table manned by a few schoolgirls and their handmade signs about what Carver did with sweet potatoes. It was a sad, but amusing sight. The girls had a small microphone and gave a short presentation on all the great things Carver did. It was like I was back in elementary school listening to classmates give book reports in the front of class.

"George Washington Carver was a great man. He was a scientist, and studied sweet potatoes. He raised them in his garden....He was a great man."

You get the idea.

The mini-vacation: Maker Mark Day @ Keeneland and Disney

We just got back from driving 2,000 miles in 5 days.  Wooof...my butt hurts from sitting that long, but we did have a great time. Allow me to explain.

Racetracks. Yes, we are bettors

Every year, the bourbon, Maker's Mark, sponsors a day at the Keeneland Race track in Lexington, KY. As we are Kentucky Colonels, I like drinking bourbon, and the wife's Dad and wife live there, we decided to head on up and bet the ponies. 10 races, 5 bets, we walked away with about $65, basically breaking even when you consider we paid for lunch, etc.


It was a nice afternoon, followed by a delicious dinner at a local German restaurant named Marikkas. Brats, sauerkraut, wiener schnitzel and beer? Yes, please!

Maker's Mark day at Keeneland was followed by the Retirement party of the CEO of the company, Bill Samuels. He's the 7th(?) generation of Samuels to distill bourbon and he had a blow out to celebrate. A very large tent was set up in a hotel parking lot in downtown Lexington. There was a band, lighting and sound equipment, food, and of course, booze. Tickets were $10 a pop and all proceeds went to a local shelter for battered woman (insert snarky comment here about booze and abuse).

I will not suffer a Tryanny of Meatheads

This happened over a month ago, I just haven't gotten around to writing it until now.

Related to this post regarding athletes in high school and continuing on, I am here to relate the story of the Redneck Meathead who I encountered early Sunday morning as I left my house to go to my neighbors to let their dog out. (Side note: I'll update this post with a photo when I can capture said meathead).

Anyway, there is a very large Marine (meaning steroided up without a neck Marine) who lives in the neighborhood and he has a dog. A little one. It's actually kinda cute to see him walking with a tiny dog because of the dichotomy of the two images. The problem is that he never, and I mean never, cleans up after the dog poops. He just leaves it on whoever's yard the dog happens to poop on.

My neighbors and I have noticed this, and have often commented on either confronting him or writing a letter to the Home Owners Association to complain. No one wants to confront him because he's huge, and could easliy snap a person in two like a twig.

But, for anyone who knows me, I sometimes do stupid things. Like this particular Sunday, for instance.

Let me set the stage:

I am not Governor Bentley's brother

Edit: Thanks to a friend for pointing out it's Bently, not Brantly, as previously written.

This starts the conversation.

To celebrate MLK, Jr. Day, Tina and I decided we would make the drive from Montgomery to Selma, to recreate the march, (albeit in reverse, but we live on this side of Montgomery. Anyway....) So we arrive in Montgomery, and, unbeknownst to us, it also happened to be the inauguration day of Alabama's new governor. So, we watched the parade (lots of high school and college bands. Fun!) and then headed to the visitor center to get a map. We walked around the River where they've done some new redevelopment, including rehabbing some old warehouses, and ate at Dreamland BBQ (even though they're from Tuscaloosa ;-). It was good.

We ended up at the Dexter Avenue King Memorial Baptist Church and were able to find a seat during the church's MLK Birthday Celebration. The event had several different preachers, a choir, band, etc. It was a nondenominational service, essentially, to celebrate King's life and his message of love, non-violence, and tolerance.

The new governor was on the list to speak, and due to the nature of his busy day, preachers came and went, vamping for his arrival. And arrive he finally did, taking the podium and saying that he would be a governor to all. And that was great, until he made a call to the alter, and said that only Christians were his real brothers and sisters. Those that weren't, well, he couldn't help you until you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

And that was when I knew I wasn't Gov. Brantley's brother, nor was my wife his sister. Indeed, we feel persona non grata in the Brantley house. And that's fine, ultimately, because the love and tolerance Dr. King taught me makes me love, accept, and tolerate Gov. Brantley and his non-tolerant, non-accepting ways.

Such irony. And on Dr. King's day to boot. However, no surprise coming from the post of the governor of Alabama, whose former occupants included George "Segration Today, Segregation Tomorrow, Segregation Forever" Wallace. Governor Brantley has a legacy to uphold.

I've heard many people say this nation was founded as a Christian Nation, that our forefathers envisioned us to be Christian forever. Well, while it is true our forefathers were Christian, they were first and foremost Deists, believers in God who created the world, set it in motion, and allowed the natural laws He built into it to govern. A primary natural law is freedom, and the freedom to make the choice for how to worship. Isn't that why we came to the colonies in the first place, to escape religious intolerance? Then why is Governor Brantley driving me away from the State of Alabama because I do not believe in his particular form of god?

If Alabama does not want me, I'm sure I will be ok.

The Trees & My Imagined Response to the TSA Agent in Rochester, NY

First, there's this. A 62 y/o grown man went to Toomer's Corner and poisoned Oak Trees that have been alive for over 130 years, all because he was an Alabama fan and was tired of seeing Auburn fans celebrate football victories by throwing toilet paper over the trees. Now his family is receiving death threats from Auburn fans.

Huh?

This doesn't really deserve comment, other than that people here in the South need to relax. Like, for real. Trees? C'mon, man.