Carnage

Boxes, boxes everywhere.

MOVE WEEK!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

T minus 1 week and counting

Yowzer. It's really here. I cannot believe it. It's really here.

This is the last week I am here at the office and I have a boatload of stuff to get ready before we ship out. Additionally, people are really starting to demand our time and attention, and we still have a lot of packing to do (read, all packing because we haven't done any yet. Why are waiting? I don't know.)

I also am starting to feel the absolute reality of things. The last time I visited my grandfather in Jersey was a week and a half ago. When we left I told him we would see him again at Christmas. I saw both doubt and hope in his eyes; hope that he would make it to Christmas, and doubt that he would. I am making another trip to see him tomorrow after work for what I hope won't be the last time I see him.

We saw my parents for the last time before we move this past weekend. That was a little tough. When we were leaving my mother, crying and putting on a brave face, said "This is nothing. We lived in Singapore and you were here." I asked, "So, why are you crying?" She replied, "Because your father is crying." To which he replied, "No I'm not. It's fricking hot out here. I am sweating!"

This is crunch time. This is the time to make lists, execute, cross it off and get shit done. I hope I don't falter on anything too major.

Reactions & Stereotypes

I'd written previously that I wanted to write about a post about how people up here in the Northeast are reacting to us telling them we're moving to Auburn. This is that post.

There are essentially 3 steps to the reaction. And it usually goes like this.

1. Somehow I mention we are moving to Alabama. Their reaction? Surprise, bewilderment. Their eyes open wide. They are confused. I can tell they are thinking, "What on earth would you do that for?!", but they are too polite to actually say it.
2. This is followed by them saying something along the lines of "Wow. Talk about a culture shock!" or "That's going to be different!"
3. Followed by "Better get a pickup truck and a gun rack!"

Without fail, that is how the conversation opens.

It's followed by the person realizing I am not joking, that we are indeed moving, and the question: "Where is that?"

"It's 1.5 hrs southwest of Atlanta, right over the Georgia border. About 3.5 hrs from the coast."

"Oh, well....huh.....But, hey, at least its a college town, right? Won't be too bad!"

And they're right. It is a college town, and it won't be too bad. But that's not the point I want to make in this post. The point I want to make regards stereotypes, and how we all employ them, for good or ill.

I realize there are going to be class and race issues we will encounter when we move to Alabama. The wife and I are highly educated (she more so than I, considering she has a PhD, and I have my Masters), white (in the land of the civil rights era), and by relative standards, rich (we will make well above the median family income (look it up, yourself)). So, two out of the three of the above make us targets. Add these to the fact we're from Connecticut, and we really are "Damn Yankees" among the locals. Given we probably will not be there long term (I have no idea about this, by the way. I am just guessing), we've given no one in the community any reason to make a long term investment in us (relationship-wise, friendship-wise, etc.). Outside of the academic community, no one has any real reason to be friendly with us (although I suspect they will be, because the stereotype of people down south is that they're very friendly.)

We are outsiders from the start. We will be the subjects of the stereotypes Southerners hold for northerners.

Liberal, Lefty, Unpatriotic, Obama voting, America-hating, Socialists in waiting. Or, Wall-St. working, money-loving, god hating, consumerists devoted to all things fast (women, cocaine, take your pick, whatever). Or a combination of all of these things to form a conglomerate of New Englander, or New Yorker.

Yet, at the same time, when I have mentioned we are moving to Alabama, I can see the stereotypes we northerners hold for southerners pop up into the minds of the people I am speaking to. It's almost pavlovian in its instantaneous appearance. And I freely admit I did the same exact thing when the wife mentioned moving there as a possibility. The image of the slack-jawed yokel proudly waving his confederate flag from his big pick-up truck with the gun rack. Rednecks. White trash. Baby mommas smoking cigarettes acting out welfare queen fantasies.

But you know what? We have those here in Connecticut, too. So what makes us think we're so much better? What makes us feel the need to be so different? To elevate ourselves above others? I am not a sociologist, or a psychologist, for that matter. But this is the world we live in, so I suppose I must accept it, or at the very least make amends.

So, how to end this?

I realize we are all the same. We all employ stereotypes to help our brains deal with this world. The welfare queen is making fun of me right now as I speak. So I guess I will do my best to have an open mind when I arrive there, realizing that not everyone will like who we are, become friends with those who have an open mind like me, and make the best of our time there. It's an adventure, right?

Let's go.

Countdown: 16 days

It's starting to get scary!

Not really scary, but I think you know what I mean. 3 months ago when the wife got the job, it was something that was going to happen, but one that I didn't have to deal with immediately. Now, it's right around the corner.

Friends and coworkers are starting to ask if I am nervous or excited. Neighbors are saying things like, "Hope you like this weather, 'cause its gonna be a lot hotter down there!" (Jeez, thanks. Sheesh) And we are having going-away parties thrown for us. We had our first one Sunday, and as a pre-moving father-son bonding time / moment, I joined my father for a round of golf on Friday, followed by a "here's where everything is in case I die while you're in Alabama" talk. That was fun.

16 days of getting through work and worrying about packing. I just wish it here already so that we could be done with it, because I don't feel settled. And as a Leo, I need to feel "settled".

I'll just hang in there.

Cell phone picture and texts test successful!

So, I've figured out how to post to the blog direct from the cell-phone.

The possibilities are endless. And scary.

For now, though, I gotta get back to work, but the following are a few of my ideas for future blog posts.

1. The initial reactions of people when told we are moving to Alabama
2. Things I'll miss about the NE
3. More things I am looking forward to when we move

That's it for now.

Messing with the Movers

It's not often one gets the opportunity to practice negotiation skills. Due to the fact that negotiations for the average person revolve around significant cash outlays, (and these do not happen all that often), practicing the art of negotiation is usually theoretical.

I took a class in grad school about negotiation, and, for lack of a better term, the practices / homework assignments were actually quite fun. However, as there was nothing of real value at stake (other than a grade). they lacked the "Oh, shit, I can't believe I am about to drop a whole load of cash right now" nervousness and anxiety of a real negotiation. They lacked the immediacy, the necessity for quick, on your feet thinking, the internal and mental calculations that need to be executed before a response is given that a real negotiation has.

So when I received follow-up calls from moving companies regarding their quotes, I seized the opportunity to practice and observe my technique and those of my "adversary." I had nothing to lose, right? We've already made the decision to move ourselves, but they didn't know that. What's the harm?

Now, some readers might raise a question of morals here. "You are blatantly wasting these peoples' time. How would you feel if you were being led on?" And these people are right, of course. I did feel a little guilty practicing, but let me say this up front. I laid ground rules for myself (and the movers).

1. I was only going to ask for "Final and best offers."
2. All quotes would be blind. None of the other moving companies' offers would be shared with the others as a way of beating the companies up.
3. I would not disparage any of the movers to their other competitors.
4. I would never promise any of the movers anything, especially work.
5. After receipt of final and best, I would share the results with each of the moving companies, letting them know who they were competing against, the rank of their quotes (where they landed in relation to one another, but not the actual prices), the reserve price I had established for them to beat (really low, and let's be honest, pretty unfair), as well as what we decided to do.

I received the phone call from the 1st company. A guy I had been dealing with along over the phone, and one, who oddly enough, has a strange way of speaking and an accent. I can't tell what the accent is, but he really draws out his esses. It sounds Svengali-esque, with a hint of Edward G Robinson (You dirty rat), as if he's trying to persuade me with the power and sensuality of his voice.


"Hi, _______, this is _____, from _______ Moving Company. How are you today?" ( Btw, this company had provided the lowest price.)
"Hello, ______. I'm fine."
"Good. I am calling to see how your move plans are coming along. have you made a decision yet? Is there anything we can do to help you? You know, the date of your move is coming up and we are really starting to book up." (Ah, the pressure technique. "Time's a ticking buddy. You better make a decision!" This is a technique for landlords, sellers of real estate, car salesmen.)

"Well, ______, we've received all the initial estimates from all the companies, and I'd like your final and best offer. So, if you can send that over, that'd be great."

And then came the spiel. The sales pitch. The litany of references and Better Business Bureau ratings and how all the other moving companies are liars and slimeballs (but not us!). What the quote includes and how they're so much better, and how happy I am going to be, and how none of my stuff is going to be ruined, and on and on and on.

"Well, that's great, ______. I know your service is going to be great. And to be honest, all the companies are providing me with the same level of services and BBB ratings. What it comes down to now is price. So, if you can provide you're best and final, that'd be great."
"Well, what have the other companies given you? I'd have to know so that I can go to my sales manager with some justification." (Ah, good cop, bad cop. I knew I'd see this one. And he wants me to give up the other companies' prices so he knows how far he does / does not have come down.)
"Well, ______, I am sorry, but I am not going to give you that information. If you feel you have already provided you best and final, then that's fine. I appreciate your efforts."

Then the 2nd call came. Now, this company had provided the middle price, but had come back to me 2 weeks ago with a discount of $675, bringing the cost down to from $6350 to $5675. The call went in pretty much the same manner, but with a few twists. There was still the mention of how time is running out / pressuring me, but they added the "It's moving season, we should be raising our rates, not lowering them!" and "Well, you already received a discount, but let me check with my manager", insinuating I was a pain in the ass. Whatever, I remained silent. He came back with $5550, and when I said, "Alright, thanks very much. I'll get back to you," I was asked to hold on a second. The owner of the company wanted to speak with me.

Bingo. Here we go. The Big time. The Big Kahuna. Show time. Whatever. Clearly I had been on speaker phone before. Shit was real, now.

"Mr. ______? Yeah, my name is ___________ , and let me tell you right off, I am very impressed with how you are doing conducting this. You're doing all the right things. You started early, you did all your research, you're getting multiple quotes. Very impressive. Not many people do that, but you, you're smart." (The butter-up technique. Make them feel good, establish a relationship, personalize the transaction.)

He went on from there, relaying how he himself had done the same thing when he was re-doing his deck, yada, yada, yada, 3 quotes, went with the higher one because the owner was doing the work, yada, yada, yada, yada, our services are excellent, yada, yada, yada, Long story, short, I finally said to him:

"I have no doubt about the service level, ___________. All the companies have the same level of service and reputation. What it really comes down to is price, so, again, provide your final and best and I will get back to you."

"Final and best?"

"Final and best."

"$5,155."

Results:

Co. 1 got back to me this morning. They knocked off $100. As you just read, company 2 dropped from an initial $6350 to $5,155! Yowzer.

Here's a copy of the email I sent to the moving companies this morning.

____________ -

Thank you for the quote and all the work you and _______ have put into the pursuit.

You were competing against __________ from Englewood, NJ., and a subsidiary of ________ (some national company. You were also competing against a very low reserve price I had set as my wife and I are paying for this move ourselves.

Given that we are going to pack our belongings in boxes, and the moving companies were to pack the truck, do the driving, and unload the truck, we investigated the cost of renting a truck ourselves and hiring local companies to pack and unpack the truck. __________'s cost for renting a truck is $1,400, and the total cost of hiring local movers here and in Auburn, AL to load and unload the truck is $600. Hence a total cost of $2,000. Add in tip, gas, tolls, a night's hotel room, food, etc, and we are looking at approximately $2,600 total.

I set a reserve price for the movers of $3,000. Unsurprisingly, none of the movers were able match this price.

You and ________ did provide the lowest price. However, we have decided that the expense is too much for us to handle, despite the convenience your moving services would have provided.

I once again thank you for your efforts and all the valuable advise you and ______ provided. Should any of our friends remaining in the area require your services, I would not hesitate to recommend you.

Sincerely -


Now, on to the rest of shit I have to do.